navywifebeth

Myspace, Facebook and the myriad of online forums have certainly changed the nature and ‘face’of relationships. For military spouses online forums are a source of support, information and friendship for many.

I have ‘met’ many military spouses through forums and even this blog. We share our struggles, resources, information and for many our lives. Being the ‘old-fashioned’ woman that I am, I am often left longing for the real life. When an online friend is having a bad day I am frustrated that I can’t stop by with an espresso and warm hug.

And then there are those precious times when cyber meets ‘irl’ (in real life). That happened this week for several women and I had the great fortune to be a part of it.

I organized a group of military spouses to attend a taping of the Bonnie Hunt show at the Culver City Studios. The word was spread via several online mediums. The response was so fun! Fifty women traveled from Lemoore, San Diego, Naval Base Ventura County and other locations to meet at the studio gate. Many women had the opportunity to meet online friends for the first time ‘IRL’ - and that includes me.

Heather and Chrissy looked just like their pictures. Kirsty was taller than I imagined. I couldn’t believe how great Sheila looked after just having a baby a few weeks ago. I could go on and on… All that I knew about these woman (and many others) took on a new dimension after meeting them. And their friendship became all the sweeter.

Cyber friendships can bring information, resources and support right to our fingertips…but when cyber meets real life - well, for this Navy wife, that is the best of both worlds.

Recently I wrote an article for Army Times Publishing Company regarding enlisted pay. My premise was that though I once felt the financial struggles experienced by many enlisted was due to financial mismanagement I now realized they were just plain underpaid. I received an amazing amount of feedback from that article - mostly from officers who felt I misrepresented the entire pay package or felt it truly was a financial mismanagement issue. Down the line each officer who wrote mentioned, what high school graduate makes that much money?”

With the recent discussions regarding bailing out the big three auto makers, and the revelation of the pay structure for union worker I am even more convinced my premise was valid. 

Let me go back to the ‘high school education’ argument. I went to the HR website for the various auto makers. Guess what, they do not even require a high school education (or equivalent), the military does. Now, brace yourselves…did you hear? The average pay and benefits package for union workers is $78.77 per hour. Enlisted military average pay per hour? The average enlisted makes roughly $14 per hour depending upon location and special pays. The average American worker makes $26 per hour. Even foreign auto makers manufacturing cars in the US make over $40 per hour in pay and benefits.

So, let me rant a moment…one of the major arguments offered in why the Auto Makers should be bailed out is that they are vital to our ‘national security’. (They can convert their facilites from manufacturing cars to the manufacture of tanks relatively easy). Hmmmm….those assembling autos are vital to our national security. As such they are worth almost $80 per hour in pay and benefits.

Then how about those who are taking bullets in the interest of national security? I do not believe that military should become millionaires from their service. Nor do I think the exhorbitant union wages paid to auto workers is commensurate with the job they perform. But if we’re going to bail out the Big Three, maintaining these salaries…then our military is absolutely deserving of a significant raise, especially our enlisted.

Before you rant on about financial mismanagement and high school education, our enlisted go through tremendous education programs before being sent to the fleet/force…that is far more than a high school education. Financial mismanagement? Of course there are those who are careless in their spending…but try raising a family on their salary…then give me a call.

Bottom line…service members, both officer and enlisted, deserve better from those whose lives they protect. But our enlisted families are struggling…let’s do the right thing by them…

I love passing along opportunities for military, whether to enhance their quality of life or just plain fun. I have one to pass along today…

 Okay, military spouses, families, friends - have you stood on the pier or tarmac at a homecoming and seen those wonderful banners? Like me, did you want one but couldn’t see spending $50 or more to order one for your service member? I have a great solution!!!!!

I received and email from the staff at BuildASign.com - they are giving away 20,000 banners (vinyl) and jumbo cards (the really cool ones) for military during the month of November. I just checked with the company and they are still giving them away!

 The banners and cards are totally customizable…how cool is that? So, how do you get yours? Login to www.buildasign.com/troops. You will find the military free selections. Have fun!

 I ordered one for my sailor. I’d love to hear what you ordered!

By the way, one more freebie - Trees for Troops. Check out www.treesfortroops.com. Tree growers have banded together to provide trees for troops (and their families). The website gives details and distribution locations.

Knott’s Berry Farm is sponsoring a salute to Veteran’s, offering free admission for vets (includes active duty) and one guest. I think it is a wonderful effort to honor veterans. It was, however, interesting to learn that if your service member is deployed the spouse and children could not enjoy this opportunity.  While it is totally the right of Knott’s Berry Farm to institute their rules for the Veteran’s Day Salute, and it is wonderful that they did this (a’hem…hint-hint Disney), it did raise a thought…what about the spouse?

Let me ask a question. When you think about Veteran’s Day what do you think of? Do you think of WWII vets? Perhaps you are reminded of our often neglected veterans - Viet Nam Vets. Or do you think of the first Gulf War vets our our newest generation of vets? But - do you think about spouses?

 Most service members are married. If you’re a spouse you do not have to be told that you serve right along side your servicemember. We endure deployments, unwelcomed relocations, stress and much more as military wives.

There is something inside me that says Veteran’s Day should be about the Veterans. I don’t want to take anything away from their very real service and sacrifice. Yet when I hear of a limitation on a veterans opportunity like the Knott’s salute, specifically reserving it for the vet and excluding the spouse, I have to wonder if the unique lifestyle and challenges of the military spouse is too much of a secret.

 I read some months back that an organization was endeavoring to erect a monument on the Mall in Washington, DC to honor military spouses. It is an interesting endevor and proposition.

I don’t ever want to minimize or take away from the sacrifice and service of veterans but I wonder if there is a place for an official Military Spouse Day. Any thoughts?

“Red Letter Days,” you know - the ones that are marked in red on the calendar. The weekends, the holidays, the commemorative days. As a Navy wife there certainly are a few red letter days…homecoming is one, a birthday or anniversary actually celebrated together is another. But then there are those days that are definitely not red-letter days. Those days may be the day the car broke down, an appointment was missed and your sailor is deployed. It could be the day you’ve just ‘hit the wall’ with deployment…you want your Sailor home and you want them home NOW.

Another non-red-letter day is the day you realize that you have hit the half-way point in shore duty rotation…that day you have less days together as a ‘normal family’ than you have behind you and that sea-duty (i.e., another deployment) is fast upon you.

That day is today for me…and it makes me sad. I love where we are living, I love my home and my ‘adopted city.’ I love having my Sailor home for dinner (ok, most nights), I enjoy not worrying about his safety on a regular basis. I love a semblance of ‘normalcy’.

But today I realized we are halfway through shore duty. That means we are on our way to striking for orders, that means we will be moving yet again, that means we will be spending elongated time apart…again. That means my marriage will once again be long-distance and part-time at best.

Today is not a red-letter day. Today is the day I have to decide to be grateful for what I do have. I still have several more months together. I still have my husband coming home for dinner tonight, tomorrow night and the night after that. I can still enjoy my husband and my home.

hmmm…maybe it is a red-letter day afterall…

Hey, thanks for stopping by to read my blog. I’m Beth, a Navy spouse. I’ve been married to my (sexy) Sailor for just under six years. In that time we have moved seven (yes, I said seven) times, he’s been gone over 50% of our marriage and we just finished our first - uninterrupted - year together. Yes, I still feel like a newlywed…LOL.

I don’t know about you but my life dramatically changed the day I married my Sailor. From all the moves to surviving deployment to learning the ‘lingo’ and culture of the Navy…WOW, has my life changed!

Sometimes I’m flustered by the challenges of military life, sometimes I just shake my head. Other times I can’t believe I get to live this life that others will never fully understand (or appreciate). But mostly, I want to connect with others in the same boat (no pun intended…LOL).

So, this blog is for and about me and my Navy wife/spouse companions. Let’s explore this life we’ve married; the challenges, joys, resources, support, information and even inspiration. Tell me about you. How long have you been ‘married to the military, the Navy’? How many moves have you experienced? How many deployments under your belt? What is your greatst challenge? What is your greatest joy?

Let’s learn from each other…let’s take care of each other…

 Beth